Rise from the ashes of the Phoenix

Goat - Golden Dawn 

I discovered this band only a few days ago (I know, I'm late) and they are so so so amazing! They combine all my favourite genres, krautrock, psychedelia, some world music influences! I love their whole "we hail from a voodoo town"- story. It's so fascinating and inspiring!

Like a phoenix rising from the ashes. 

Anyway, my whole life feels like a blur, it feels like all events have melted into one big pot of well, awesome, mindblowing stuff. I can't tell the hour, the date or even if it's morning or afternoon anymore. It feels like I'm forgetting my past, finally letting go of all the bad things that happened, and of the good ones as well. I've tried so hard to keep hold of the good memories, to live experiences to the fullest that I was left disappointed because it never lived up to my expectations and I could never remember it exactly anyway. I always failed to capture the details, the smells, the colour schemes of memories. So now I'm letting go, of all of it. Of the good times and the bad times. I'll live in the present and I'll do whatever the fuck I want. I won't listen to myself because I usually end up fucking everything up when I do that anyway. I'll just follow my instuition and see where I end up. The last few days I've felt this strange, non-attached caring for my friends. I love them and I wouldn't want to miss them, but I don't need them, it's very refreshing. I've also thrown out all the clothes I don't wear anymore, all the books I don't care about, burnt old love letters and stupid papers. I might be cutting off all the parts of me I dislike (shame I can't cut off my face) so I can grown new and better things when I move out and go to university. I'm on a high speed train, leaving everything behind and it doesn't scare me, I love the speed, I love the risks, I want the unknown.