There's a darkness in our hearts and my smile hides an aching heart; Although we're close, we're miles apart

Pukkelpop madness; a post about my five favourite gigs of the festival

It seems so surreal to me that a week ago I still had to leave, I had such an amazing time with my friends and there was so much great music! Sleeping in a tent on a thin mattress is always worth it for a lot of great gigs and even though I've seen many bands it was fairly easy to pick my top five. 

1. Miles Kane

Without a doubt the best one of the weekend, I had seen him in France a year ago, but this gig was so much better and alive. There was a good interaction with the crowd and Miles was in top form. 

I would've put Don't forget who you are on here, but come closer was the only one with great quality on youtube. They do have 36 minutes of his show on skynet (and there is an awful lot of me on it - sigh), though. And Come Closer is always a bomb, such a sexy song and so energetic as well! As Miles said it, this is music! This is rock & roll ♥ He was so well dressed too, he always is! Seriously, this guy has the best fashion sense of well, all the guys in the world haha! I'm so glad I'll get to see him in Brussels in October or my heart would be wretched. 

2. The Knife (Shaking The Habitual)

I was kind of sad I'd missed them in Brussels, but then I forgot about them and went to Pukkelpop not having listened to their new album or any of their material of that matter, needless to say they blew me away! Completely. It was nothing like I expected!

First of all, I love them so much for intertwining damn fine electro with political activism. Karin Dreijer Andersson is such a powerful woman with brains in her head and good opinions. They did a whole pre-show to support Pussy Riot and then somewhere in between she screamed " Fuck Sexism, Fuck Homophobia, Fuck Racism " The music really entered my brain and elevated me to some whole other level, I felt really high and I really hope nobody filmed me dancing because I went completely crazy haha! Seeing as they only tour once in six years, it will be a long time till I see them again which is a shame, they are brilliant. totally brilliant. and Karin is my inspiration, hah, fuck all of you.

3. Crystal Castles

I couldn't really find a great quality recording of any of their songs so I settled for a not-that-bad one of my favourite one, baptism.They were an hour late, which didn't surprise me and sorry Pukkelpop, the "bus had a problem" wasn't really convincing, but they came on stage, played everybody mental and left the stage without saying a word. Well that was a musical uppercut!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=358lv44pYNw

(Blogger is being a bitch and won't let me post it as a video, ugh - anyway click it, it's mental)

It's the kind of music people don't expect me to like, because well, it's electronic, it's dance music, it's for smack-addicts. But, I'm a huge fan of minimalist electro and I love a rave-up from time to time. Seriously, rave parties are great, I wish I could go to them more often! And Crystal Castles have this punk-edge, which makes them different. The gig made me feel like I was in a trance and tripping on some illegal substances, the crowd was insane, my ribs still hurt from all the mosh pitting and people's extensive rib-poking dance capacities. But it was so worth it, the whole sunny day vanished and became this endless, dangerous and exciting night. I love 'em!

4. Deap Vally

I'm a bit lazy and still suffering from serious sleep deprivation, so I will be short, but those babes ROCK. I want to be in a band like this when I grow up ♥ Those girls know what rock & roll means! 

I couldn't find a live version at pukkelpop, so here is the (beautiful) official video!

5. Johnny Marr

Well, The Smiths, who doesn't like them? They made sadness an art, and I thought Morrisey would be missing, but honestly, I didn't think about him for a second (sorry mozzz)

but seriously, those lyrics are so beautiful and I know everybody knows this song and all hipsters claim to be a Smiths fan, but how can you dislike such a beauty?  

and if a double decker bus crashes into us, to die by your side is such a heavenly way to die...

The vibes were so good at this gig, there were crazy british people (always a pleasaaahr) singing crazy songs and when Johnny had left the stage I swear we kept singing this song for five more minutes (+ i saw the cutest guy with the best shoes ever sigh why didn't i talk to him) Anyway, Johnny rocks and 80s melancholy is still alive ♥ (even though I kind of hate the 80s anyway I love The Smiths) 

So Pukkelpop was great and I saw many more bands and had a total blast, totally returning next year again ♥♥♥

I am what I am

Vampire Weekend - Ya Hey

I am probably going to see these peeps and I love this song so much, it has this perfect melancholic fragrance, it has this little twist that makes it special. I saw them live when I was 14, they were the first band I ever saw in concert, I'll never forget it. 

I just realised we're already half way through August. It's already been a month since I saw Katie and when I look back there's not much there, it feels like a blank page but so many events took place. It's so strange. I have the weirdest and worst memory ever, I just can't remember most of it, probably because I don't care too much. I used to want to document my past properly, remember all the little things, but I gave up on that, now I'm stuck with this sick obsession with moving forward. Further and further, pushing boundaries, exploring limits and erasing them, I long to find things that no one discovered before and keep some of them as secrets. And even though I have this disconnection with my past, I find that the things that truly touched me remain somewhere inside you, like an illness sleeping under your skin and sometimes they come out. Like today, when I remembered you say "I don't like Vampire Weekend," and I smiled and I remembered how much I miss you and how it felt like every bone in my body was broken when you left me and how I still miss you and I still sigh when I think of you. Skarbie, kocham cie. Dobranoc ♥

when you touched my heart, you left fingerprints

Ray Manzarek - The Moorish Idol

I love his solo work a lot. Don't get me wrong, The Doors are a perfect band and they made amazing music, but Ray's solo work is seriously underrated. This song is so mindblowing and interesting! 

And once again, instrumental music. It helps me structure my thought patterns, today I felt both the happiest in ages, but now I'm pretty blue. The higher a tree, the deeper its roots, they say. 

"They don't care for me, do they?"

"No, they don't. You're a name in their head, a connection in their neurons, a passer-by in the streets, a face to talk to. Perhaps they call you "a friend". They will remember you when they reminisce, they will call you if they need you or to hear how you are, they will tell others about you, but they don't care about you. Not about you. They don't care about the satin, veiled in fog, soul you are. They don't see your beautiful spirit dancing with the first rays of sunlight, or bathing in the glow of the stars, they don't see your thoughts wrapping around emotions, they don't see your feelings fighting, they don't see the subtlety of your nature,"

"Why do you care, then?"

"Because when I look in your eyes, I don't see just "a person", I see the entire universe looking back at me."

Rise from the ashes of the Phoenix

Goat - Golden Dawn 

I discovered this band only a few days ago (I know, I'm late) and they are so so so amazing! They combine all my favourite genres, krautrock, psychedelia, some world music influences! I love their whole "we hail from a voodoo town"- story. It's so fascinating and inspiring!

Like a phoenix rising from the ashes. 

Anyway, my whole life feels like a blur, it feels like all events have melted into one big pot of well, awesome, mindblowing stuff. I can't tell the hour, the date or even if it's morning or afternoon anymore. It feels like I'm forgetting my past, finally letting go of all the bad things that happened, and of the good ones as well. I've tried so hard to keep hold of the good memories, to live experiences to the fullest that I was left disappointed because it never lived up to my expectations and I could never remember it exactly anyway. I always failed to capture the details, the smells, the colour schemes of memories. So now I'm letting go, of all of it. Of the good times and the bad times. I'll live in the present and I'll do whatever the fuck I want. I won't listen to myself because I usually end up fucking everything up when I do that anyway. I'll just follow my instuition and see where I end up. The last few days I've felt this strange, non-attached caring for my friends. I love them and I wouldn't want to miss them, but I don't need them, it's very refreshing. I've also thrown out all the clothes I don't wear anymore, all the books I don't care about, burnt old love letters and stupid papers. I might be cutting off all the parts of me I dislike (shame I can't cut off my face) so I can grown new and better things when I move out and go to university. I'm on a high speed train, leaving everything behind and it doesn't scare me, I love the speed, I love the risks, I want the unknown.